Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end....

13 days ago, I started my pre-op diet; I've been surviving on protein shakes, Carbmaster yogurt, sugar-free jello, oatmeal, raw veggies, sugar-free pudding, and soup. Lots and lots of soup. I've been hangry the entire time; my road rage is off the hook. I'm just thankful I haven't been at work terrorizing my poor coworkers and patients. My poor brain is suffering from the lack of calories- I feel like I've been in a fog for a good week now. And don't get me started on the exhaustion....

My life for the last 13 days

I'm not nervous about the surgery; I'm more excited than anything. I'm excited to gain back my confidence. I'm excited to not feel self-conscious every time I go outside. I'm excited about my back not hurting me. I'm excited to actually enjoy buying clothes. I'm excited about enjoying life.

I want to try ziplining. I want to try aerial yoga. I'd love to take up horseback riding again. Oooh, surfing....definitely gonna try surfing at some point.

It's also a break-up from one of the longest and unhealthiest relationships I've had. I've been over 200lbs since I was in the 6th grade. I wore women's size 16 pants in the 6th grade. I've always been the biggest person out of all my friends, my graduating class, hell....even my family there for a while.

I thought I knew everything there was to know about living a healthy life from my two years living a low-carb lifestyle...I was wrong.
I had no idea that I was a stress eater. I caught myself doing it a few times. I'm breaking up with that bad habit. 
I'm breaking up with seeking comfort from food.
I'm breaking up from celebrating life with food. 

I'm moving on and I'm gonna enjoy everything else life has to offer. 

My highest weight is 380lbs- I got down to 237lbs after two years on a low-carb diet with Phentermine. Then it stopped working and I gained back almost 60lbs while still living a (mostly) low-carb lifestyle. Surgery is an extreme measure, yes, but I'm an extreme situation; I can gain weight without batting an eye and I've seen how high it can get (PCOS+poor diet= BIG PROBLEM). Even after starving myself for the last 13 days, I've lost 11lbs. It would take nothing for me to put it back on.

The exciting thing is, after I get below 237lbs, every day that I get on the scale, I'll be at my new lowest adult weight.

So here's how my stats are gonna read from now on:
HW(highest weight): 380
SW(surgery weight): 284 (the scale may be a pound or two lighter in the morning)
CW(current weight): ???

I'm ready for tomorrow.