It's easier than being obese

Hell, lots of things are easier than being obese.
Society isn't kind when you wear your problems on the outside.

At four weeks post-op, I went back to work. I'd been dreading this because it was already hard to get in all my fluids and protein when I'm sitting at home doing nothing- I'd anticipated it to be really difficult when I returned to my job as a nursing assistant in a hospice center. I spend 12 hours running after call lights, bed alarms, phones, bathing, feeding, bending, lifting, caring....it's hard to take time to take care of yourself when you're taking care of others.

On top of that, I went back to work to a full-time position and on day shift; ultimate craziness. When you're house hunting though, full-time income helps.

The title of this post comes from a conversation I had with a colleague my first day back; everyone knew why I was gone for 5 weeks. I have a blog about my surgery, so it's no surprise that I'm pretty open about it. She stopped me in the hallway to ask how I was, did I have any complications, and what my life looked like now- "how much can you eat? How about drinking?"
Lots of people ask these questions and I don't mind patiently answering them. After I explained to her that I have to measure out 3 oz of food every time I eat, she asked "isn't that hard?" My response popped into my head instantly: "it's easier than being obese". The look on her face made it seem like my answer really struck home for her...like a light came on.

Yes, my new lifestyle is hard. I'm constantly measuring food, liquid, checking the time to see if it's been 30 minutes so I can resume drinking, has it been three hours already? I need to eat again, tracking my protein intake, tracking my water, being sure to exercise, and lately, fighting off nausea every time I eat or drink....surgery isn't the easy way out. It's not for everyone. It takes discipline and commitment, same as losing weight any other way. The difference is, this way is more efficient and effective.
-stepping down from the soapbox-

My first day back went fine...I got all of my protein in, despite my nausea, and came in a little short on my fluids despite stopping and sipping every time I passed by the nurses' station. I only felt pain in my abdomen a few times when bending/lifting. My coworkers were great about not letting me do too much lifting, but still...it's part of the job.
On July 1st, I was graduated from pureed foods to soft foods- canned chicken, tuna, greek yogurt, soft cooked vegetables, things like that. I think that's why I'm having the nausea; my system may be in shock after being on liquids/pureed foods since May 28th when I started my pre-op diet.
The scale is stuck at 30lbs lost. It's frustrating, but to be expected. I'm still losing inches. The clothes I wore before surgery are now too big and the smaller clothes I had when I lost weight the first time are now fitting me. I'm trying to get out and be more active, but it's hard when you're so exhausted from taking in minimal calories. I feel like I could nap 24/7.

Another problem that's reared it's ugly head is my menses- between my polycystic ovarian syndrome and my endometriosis, periods are rough for me. Guess what weight loss triggers? For me, it was a two-week long period coupled with some of my ovarian cysts rupturing. Before surgery, the only thing that moderately helped was ibuprofen, and lots of it. I'm no longer able to take ibuprofen because it can cause stomach ulcers in my tiny new stomach; my only option is Tylenol, which is USELESS when it comes to ruptured cysts and endometriosis. I had to call my doc and ask her for Ultram, a "narcotic-like" pain reliever (I put that in quotes because, seriously? This stuff isn't stronger than tylenol, though is is better at taking care of period pain....but whatever).

As of Wednesday, I'll be 5 weeks out. Stats so far:
HW: 380
SW: 283
CW: 263
I'm gonna buckle down and see how much ass I can kick this week.

The things you learn after surgery

After having weight loss surgery, you have to learn your new stomach- you have to learn how to eat, how much to eat, what not to eat, how fast/slow to eat....I can understand why doctors advise taking at least a month off after surgery.

I'm pretty much healed up 23 days out...I still have some tightness/burning/pulling from my incisions, but nothing too bad. I go back to work next week. Honestly, I'm kind of nervous about it. Even when I'm home and not busy, I have to constantly work at/focus on my eating and drinking- getting enough fluids and protein in is hard with a 2oz stomach. How am I going to do it working in a field like healthcare where I'm constantly running for 12 hours? I had a hard time eating and drinking at work with a full-sized stomach!

Other things I've figured out include:

- When I get the hiccups, I'm full.
- I can now rattle off the protein content of nearly every food.
- My body DOES NOT like sugar (cue dumping syndrome)
- Bariatric vitamins are the DEVIL- they taste horrible and I have to eat 3 a day.
- My stomach is so noisy and loud after I eat, I can't be around sleeping babies.
- I have so much energy, it's ridiculous.

Also, 23 days out and I'm down 30lbs! (from starting my pre-op diet)
HW: 380
SW: 283
CW: 263

Thanks for being a part of my journey- I hope to inspire someone reading this and give them hope that there is a way to win this battle.

Everybody have a safe 4th!